Before most marriages finally break, there are usually long seasons of conflict that people on the outside may never fully understand.
And interestingly, when separation eventually happens—especially where children are involved—relatives and friends often keep hoping the couple will reconcile. They hold on to this hope because they believe “time will heal” and that the bond of children will pull them back together.
But there is a twist many people overlook:
What each partner actually did during the crisis often determines whether reconciliation is ever possible.
The lies told…
The cruelty exchanged…
The blackmail deployed…
The words spoken in anger…
And the attitude displayed while the fire was burning…
These things don’t disappear because the conflict is over. In many cases, they become the very reasons people choose never to return.
This is why we must be extremely careful about how we handle conflicts in our relationships—marriage or otherwise.
Another dimension we often forget is this:
People around you are watching.
Family, friends, neighbours, colleagues—they all observe how you conduct yourself during the crisis. You may think you are simply “defending yourself,” but some of the impressions you create may affect your reputation long after the dust has settled.
In life, conflicts are inevitable. But how you handle them becomes part of your character record.
So the message is simple:
Be honest, even in conflict.
Guard your tongue—some words can’t be withdrawn.
Avoid cruelty and manipulation.
Don’t destroy what you may need tomorrow.
And remember: the world is always watching how we behave when things are not going our way.
In relationships—and in life—your conduct during crisis can either preserve your dignity or poison your future.
Do not forget, this is not just about a relationship but applicable in organizations, community and Nation building.
-OdogwuGNR
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